The surprise of a lifetime

Finding out I was pregnant with twins was a shock—but not entirely unexpected. Twins run in both mine and my husband’s families, so the thought had crossed my mind, but we had made a firm decision to be ‘one and done.’ Our little family felt complete, and we were happy with that choice.

But life, as it so often does, had other plans.

At our first ultrasound, the technician pointed out two gestational sacs. Twins. My mind raced. Excitement, fear, and disbelief swirled together as I tried to imagine what this would mean for us. Twice the love, twice the chaos—an entirely new version of the life we had envisioned.

But then, at a follow-up scan, the second sac was still there but hadn’t developed. My doctor explained that this was something called vanishing twin syndrome—when one twin stops growing early in pregnancy and is reabsorbed by the body. It’s more common than many people realise, often happening in the first trimester before many parents even know they’re expecting twins.

A Strange Mix of Emotions

I didn't know how to feel. We had only just started to wrap our heads around the idea of twins, and now, suddenly, we weren’t having them anymore.

There was relief—we had originally planned for one child, and now, in a way, things were back to how we expected. But there was also a deep, quiet sadness for the baby we would never get to meet.

It was such a confusing emotional space to be in. Could I really grieve a baby I had only just learned existed? Was I even allowed to feel this loss when I still had a healthy pregnancy? I didn’t know how to process it all, and for a while, I didn’t even know how to talk about it.

What I Learned Through the Experience

If you’ve gone through something similar, here’s what I want you to know:

💛 It’s okay to grieve. Even if the loss happened early, it’s still a loss. You imagined a different version of your future, and it’s okay to mourn that.

💛 It’s okay to feel conflicted. We had planned for one child, and suddenly, for a brief moment, we thought our lives were changing in a big way. The emotional whiplash of going from expecting one baby to two and then back to one is a lot to process.

💛 You are not alone. Vanishing twin syndrome is surprisingly common, yet it’s not something we talk about enough. If you need support, reach out. Whether it’s a close friend, a therapist, or an online community, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

Giving Yourself Permission to Feel

I know now that both grief and gratitude can exist in the same space. I was, and still am, incredibly grateful for my healthy pregnancy. But I also allow myself to acknowledge the loss. Both emotions are valid.

If you’ve experienced this, I see you. Your feelings—whatever they are—are real, and they matter. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the space to process. And most importantly, know that you are stronger than you think.